Without Regret
by ursulagoddess
Summary: A Dr. Winchester romance. I hope the hard chore 'MASH' and 'Pride & Prejudice' fans will forgive the liberties I have taken with the use of the charactors. I always thought that Charles deserved to find love, and I could not resist borrowing from P
1. Without Regret Part I

Authors Note: This work of fiction is intended to entertain the reader. I hope the hard chore 'M*A*S*H' and 'Pride & Prejudice' fans will forgive the liberties I have taken with the use of the characters. This is rated R, please do not read if you are under 18. Thank you.  
  
Without Regret  
  
Chapter I  
  
August, 1952, Korea, M.A.S.H. 4077  
  
To Doctor Charles Emerson Winchester the Third, she was just some faceless, nameless nurse. A clear hand for note taking in post-op and gentle touch for wiping his forehead in the OR. He didn't even know her name. She was working post-op with him when one of the soldiers died as so many young men had before him, as so many would after him. This young man was the first patient she had ever lost, the first real death she had witnessed. She held his hand while he died and cried real tears over his loss. As Doctor Winchester filled out the necessary paper work he chided her for her unprofessional behavior in front of the other patients.  
  
Her hair was the first thing that caught his eye. It was a rich auburn among an endless sea of bleach blondes and brunettes. She gave him a startled look and stared deep in his eyes with her own tear-brimmed and red, her nose running as she sniffled inelegantly. He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She delicately wiped her nose and dried her tears, quickly composing herself. She said quietly, "I do apologize for my unprofessionalism doctor, but not for my compassion." She left the post-op ward and a few minutes later another nurse came in to replace her. He wondered if he had been too harsh with her, and as almost an after-thought that she had kept his handkerchief. Her eyes stayed with him through the rest of the night. Green, like the clear coastal waters at sunrise, the eternal sea always full of life and constantly in motion. As he was shortly to discover, so was Nurse Bennet.  
  
Some nights later, as he was walking to his tent after completing rounds in post-op, he passed the officers lounge. It was an hour past closing and he could hear the piano playing. It was a horribly dilapidated instrument, hardly worthy of the name piano and those that chose to play it were hardly worthy of the title musician. As he walked closer he recognized the song, Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" played with a bit of technical skill to be sure, surely this was not one of the cretins that usually chose to perform. He could feel the emotional current behind the music. Closing his eyes, he finally felt the endless days, the empty nights, all the meaningless death he had seen. The song ended and mercifully began again. He simply could not just stand there in the dirt and not applaud the musician. He quietly opened the door and to his surprise, found the room empty save for one slender back in front of the piano.  
  
Swaying to the music as she played, her hair loosely cascaded in soft curls down her back. The soft candlelight made it appear a deeper shade of auburn. He was mesmerized; like a snake caught by the charmer he was lost to her. The song ended and she paused a moment, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand the way a small child would. He cleared his throat and she jumped, making a small startled noise.  
  
"I do apologize for disturbing you," he said gently. She said nothing, simply staring at him with those eyes that seemed to peer deep into his soul. He cleared his throat again and said, "I did not know that this instrument was capable of making such an exquisite sound." His voice wavered with a feeling so deep it set him off balance.  
  
She smiled at him and said, "You flatter me with your praise Major Winchester, I did not know that any one was awake to hear me." She blushed charmingly.  
  
"I had just ended my round in post-op and was on my way back to my tent."  
  
"I don't mean to keep you from your sleep, I know what a precious commodity it is."  
  
'Did she really just say precious commodity?' Who was this articulate young woman before him in common nurse's clothing? "Nurse Bennet, to find a talent such as yours in a M.A.S.H. is indeed a more precious commodity than sleep and certainly worthy of its loss."  
  
She began twisting her hair up into the tight formal bun she normally wore about the camp and he felt his throat tighten. He wanted to beg her to leave her hair down, to play another song for him. He took a step backwards and turned to leave, attempting to regain his composure. "Would the major like to hear another song?" she asked, shyly. He nodded and sat at the nearest table, not trusting himself to speak. She began to play and he watched her hands dance over the keys with quick grace and beauty. When the little concert was finished she closed the drawer on the keyboard and rose with weary elegance.  
  
"May I escort you to your tent?" He felt as though they were in 19th century English novel, rather than in the middle of Korea in 1952. They walked the 30 yards to the nurses' tent and paused outside of her door not knowing quite what to say. 'Imagine,' he thought, 'a Winchester at a loss for words!' She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.  
  
"Goodnight, Major," she whispered.  
  
"Charles" he whispered back. "Please call me Charles." She smiled impishly, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight.  
  
"Goodnight..Charles." Her voice caressed his name in away that he hardly recognized as his.  
  
"....w-what is your name.." He choked. He did not know Nurse Bennet's Christian name. She seemed to delight in knowing that he did not know. She winked at him, and then went inside her tent.  
  
'The nerve of that woman! How dare she refuse to give me her name.' He thought, incensed. Now he would have to ask one of those cretins that he lived with to find it out.  
  
He returned to the swamp to find a poker game in progress; the usual malcontents were there. He knew he would not need to be subtle to find out the information. Fortunately, she was one of the new nurses and therefore easily worked into the conversation.  
  
"So how was post-op Charles?" asked the ever-cheerful B.J.  
  
"Everything was in order when I left," he replied.  
  
They went about their game, ignoring Charles as usual. He opened his book and pretended to read, listening to their conversation. Before long, the nurses were mentioned.  
  
"..and the new girl was really on her toes today in the OR," said B.J. That man would compliment a bologna sandwich, but in Nurse Bennet's case, this was true. He listened for Hawkeye's inevitable retort.  
  
"Which new girl, the cute redhead?"  
  
"Yeah," said BJ. "She almost knew what I wanted in my hand before I even said it."  
  
"A psychic nurse, how extraordinary," Charles jested. He was secretly bemused. Over the last few days he had seen her working with the other doctors and knew her skill was exemplary; however, she had yet to grace him again with her presence at his table.  
  
"Weren't you working post-op with Lizzy last week when that boy died, Major?" asked Father Mulcahy.  
  
'Lizzy' He thought. That must be short for Elizabeth. What a wonderful name.  
  
"Oh, Charles never notices the nurses, Father. They're all just one person to him," jeered Pierce.  
  
"Actually, Pierce, I was there and as I recall the poor girl cried. That boy must have been her first death in this place," Charles said contemplatively.  
  
"Oh!" said the good father. "She was quite distressed over his death and came to speak with me about it. Young Lizzy is indeed a remarkable person. By the end of the conversation I do not know who was more comforted, her or myself"  
  
They all laughed and returned to the game. He had the information he needed and savored the sound of her name, Elizabeth Bennet.  
  
Chapter II  
  
When one works such atrocious hours, the days jumble together as though months have passed when in fact it has only been seventy-two hours. After three days on his feet, up to his elbows in blood, all he wanted to do was sleep. But Charles consented to a drink in the officers club, hoping see Elizabeth. He was slightly disappointed that in the three days in the OR she did not assist him once but chose rather to stand by the Colonel instead. He wanted to have a private conversation with her. Had he so wounded her when that young soldier died he wondered?  
  
Weary and giddy with their minds and bodies beyond the state of exhaustion, they entered the bar and found a gaggle of people crowded around the battered old upright piano. A lively rendition of "When the Saints Come Marching In" was being pounded out. He caught a flip of auburn pigtails and heard a girlish laugh. He knew it was his Elizabeth at once. 'Did I just call her MY Elizabeth?' he thought.  
  
As the crowd sang along, laughing and drinking as though they were all at some Saturday afternoon ballpark. Charles wondered if perhaps they were right, 'Pretending to be anywhere than where we are is better than the carnage we were forced to almost daily be a witness to,' Charles thought.  
  
"I think I love this girl," said Pierce to him, with his usual caprice.  
  
"I want to take her home and marry her to my nephew" said Colonel Potter with a smile and small gleam in his tired old eyes that made him think if he was thirty years younger and not married himself he would have take her as his own bride. A small dart of jealousy ran through Charles.  
  
"Indeed she seems to bring a light to this dark place" Charles agreed with them.  
  
Pierce looked at Charles over his glass "Did you just give a compliment to a nurse?" He asked showing more shock than Charles was certain he felt.  
  
"When compliments are worthy I am not unjust in bestowing them" he replied.  
  
The crowd was applauding the end of the song and she rose from the bench and bowed. "I would like to close this evening's concert," she paused for the laughter over her statement at 11am, "with something to sooth all our savage beasts to sleep." She began to sing in a clear voice that was both sweet and tragic, "Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, from glen to glen and down the mountainside." When she had finished, the applause was thunderous and Charles found that he could not take his eyes off of her.  
  
As the crowd dispersed, he saw his chance to speak with her alone. He stood at her elbow and said in a low voice for her ears only, "I see that playing the piano is not your only musical talent Miss Elizabeth. I am again in wonderment." She turned to face him, closing the space between them to inches. He felt his pulse race and was certain from this distance she could hear his heart pounding. She slowly raised her head and looked into his eyes, he saw the exhausted circles under hers and noticed that they did not distract from her beauty. Her skin was flawless and he longed to touch her cheek to see if she was as soft as she looked.  
  
"I would hope the Major would know better than to judge a book by its cover," she said with a raised eyebrow and that impish gleam in her eye.  
  
"Charles," he corrected her.  
  
" 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet'..Charles."  
  
" 'I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized'," he took her hand and kissed it, she was indeed as soft as she looked. She blushed becomingly and sketched a curtsy.  
  
"Are you fond of Shakespeare?"  
  
"Indeed, I am."  
  
"Perhaps we will play at quotes again..after we are both better rested."  
  
"I look forward to the challenge madam."  
  
She turned to leave and it wasn't until that moment that he realized he had not let go of her hand. He released her and felt oafish as he looked about the room and realized that Pierce, Hunnicutt and Colonel Potter had witnessed everything. A Winchester never blushed but his face was red and he felt himself sweating. He braced for their juvenile comments and was preparing to deny his obvious affection when they raised their glasses to him in salute and walked away without a word.  
  
This was indeed new territory for Charles.  
  
Chapter III  
  
The following evening as Charles made his way towards the showers, thoughts of Elizabeth danced through his head. With a small smile at the anticipation of conversing with her again he opened the door to the shower tent and froze at the shock of seeing her naked and dripping wet. Elizabeth must have forgotten to flip the sign on the door to 'nurses only'.  
  
As each droplet of water caressed her naked flesh the steam in the room seemed to soak into every pore of his being, inflaming his desire. He fought the urge to open the shower stall and take her right there. She was so totally engrossed in the luxury of a solitary shower she was oblivious to the fact that someone had entered the tent and she was no longer alone. Charles wasn't even aware that he was craning his neck to see over the stall wall to get a glimpse at the tops of her well-formed breasts. He could smell the faint scent of roses from the soap as she worked the bar into lather. Elizabeth moved her hands slowly across her arms to her full breasts stomach and tantalizingly lower. His greatest wish at that moment was to be that bar of soap. She was more beautiful to him than any other woman he had ever seen, and now that he was seeing so much more of her than ever before, his thoughts ran wild.  
  
Before she could notice him, he backed out of the tent and carefully closed the door. He flipped the sign to 'nurses only' with an amused grin on his face. While he considered himself to be above the carnal lust so frequently displayed in this horrible place, Charles was a man with great passions for the right woman. He paused at that thought; did he consider Elizabeth Bennet the right woman? Would he be so vulgar as to violate her simply to satisfy his own lust? He was crestfallen, for Charles was a man of too much honor to stoop so low as to use any woman, particularly one he held in such high regard. Once this war ended he knew they would go their separate ways, most likely to never see each other again. He knew that he would be forced into some sort of arranged marriage to continue the family line.  
  
A part of him raged against the thought of marrying for the sake of family and money, why could he not marry whomever he loved and be damned with the consequences? With a sigh full of sadness and the possibility of unrequited love, Charles turned from the tent and walked back to the swamp. He knew his heart was in danger; he would rather not allow his feelings for one woman to alter the course of his future.  
  
Although he tried his best to avoid Elizabeth, it was a small camp. He was as enamored as ever of her wit and lively personality. As the weeks passed shades of love colored his world during the day; his nights were filled with dreams of Elizabeth and what he would have done to her in the shower if they had been properly wed. Charles was in the middle of a particularly vivid dream when Elizabeth whispered his name. She was standing over him in the darkness not wanting to wake the sleeping Hawkeye and BJ.  
  
"Charles, wake up, you're needed in post-op," She whispered. He made no sign of waking and she crouched down next to his cot. She tenderly stroked his cheek with her fingertips. She was surprised by her boldness, she had been harboring feelings for Charles since they first met but did not know he felt about her. He opened his eyes when she touched his face and found they were mere inches apart. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips; she did not back away from the kiss and pleased him by responding to it passionately.  
  
When the kiss finally broke Elizabeth backed away, her heart was pounding and she was unprepared for the feelings that his kiss awoke in her. She felt her face flush and was grateful for the darkness. 'Oh, what will he think of me now,' she thought in horror that he would be upset with her acting like a silly school girl having her first crush.  
  
Charles sat up and was disturbed to see the startled look on her face. He was surprised, she was really there, he was not dreaming. He was immediately on his guard worried that had he offended her by being so forward.  
  
"You..You are needed in post-op," she whispered her voice shaking. She wanted to kiss him again, to see if he would respond in the same way now that he was fully awake.  
  
"Elizabeth - I.." he choked, his voice was raw with unspoken emotion. He wanted to kiss her again, to tell her that he thought she was the most breathtakingly beautiful creature that he had ever laid eyes upon.  
  
"Charles, it's the Perkins boy, the chest wound. His temperature is 102 and rising," she stood to leave. He snapped out of his mental ramblings enough to grab her hand and whispered hoarsely, "Elizabeth, I'm sorry if I offended you..I..thought I was dreaming," he stammered his apology and released her hand.  
  
She walked out of his tent not trusting herself to look back at him, afraid she would betray her emotions if she saw him look at her with his eyes reflecting the same emotion as his voice.  
  
Charles dressed quickly and followed her, he knew that their feelings would need to wait, a sick solider needed his doctor and nurse with clear heads.  
  
Chapter IV  
  
Over the next several days, casualties were heavy and there was no time for Charles to speak with Elizabeth about what had happened. Charles, Hawkeye and B.J. had just settled into the swamp when Colonel Potter walked in.  
  
"Well boys, battalion aid just called and they need a surgeon and a nurse. Winchester, you're name is on the short list," the Colonel poured himself a drink and sat down.  
  
"I protest!" said Charles indignantly. "Haven't I just spent the last three days in the O.R.!?"  
  
"Lizzy is the nurse who will be going," said Colonel Potter nonchalantly over his drink.  
  
"I'll go!" said Pierce, jumping to his feet.  
  
"Sit down Pierce, a Winchester never shirks his duty. I will go."  
  
Charles hated to go to the battalion aid as much as the next doctor, but a chance to spend the two hour drive alone with Elizabeth would be worth the risk to life and limb.  
  
They had been driving for about twenty minutes when Charles finally broke the uncomfortable silence by saying, "The changing leaves are really beautiful here, but the colors are nothing compared to the brilliance of the fall foliage of New England."  
  
Elizabeth smiled at him and said, "Yes, I agree, there is nothing like fall in New England. I miss being there this time of year."  
  
Charles was taken aback, "Where are you from Elizabeth?"  
  
She laughed, "I grew up in Massachusetts."  
  
"Have you ever been to Boston?" he asked.  
  
"Oh yes, I studied pre-med at Harvard..That is," she paused taking a shaky deep breath, hoping he would not think less of her when she told him about her family "..until my parents were killed in a car accident and the family fortune was lost." She looked away from him, not wanting to cry. Charles could tell that the memory still caused her pain.  
  
"You studied at HARVARD?" he asked incredulously. "Just a moment, Bennet...was your father Edward Bennet?"  
  
"Yes, did you know him?" she was surprised, "My father was not fond of the society and certainly no one from the Boston scene had attended the funeral or sent condolences.."  
  
"Not really, but I recall the story circling about the lost fortune and five daughters who were destitute due to no male heirs. It had everyone calling their attorneys to update their wills," Charles realized that he had just insulted her. "I'm sorry Elizabeth that was a very thoughtless thing for me to have said."  
  
She laughed and wiped away a tear "Well, I am the modern Cinderella story in reverse! The happy privileged childhood, followed by the working class adult life. But never fear, my courage rises to every occasion to overcome whatever obstacles life throws at me."  
  
"How are your sisters faring?" he asked with genuine feeling, looking over at her as often as he dared take his eyes off the road.  
  
"My older sister Jane is a school teacher in Springfield. My younger sister Mary is also a teacher and a nun at the Sacred Heart Academy. The two youngest, Kitty and Lydia, have just written me that they have joined the USO and will be starting to tour somewhere here in Korea. Do you have brothers or sisters Charles?"  
  
"I have a younger sister, Honoria. She still lives in Boston with my parents." He laughed out loud, "Harvard..I graduated from Harvard, top of my class actually." He was impressed that Elizabeth had attended Harvard, it was a difficult school to get into without the fact that she was a woman and they were still sorting out what do about the increasing body of female collegiates. "Harvard," He said again with another laugh, his intrigue for Elizabeth growing.  
  
"Are you surprised that we went to the same school or that I chose to attend college at all Charles?" she asked with mirth in her voice and a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Actually, I was thinking how I wish I was younger so that I might have had the pleasure of seeing you in class every day." He teased.  
  
"Hmm..Well I'm not certain if you would have been the classmate who spilled formaldehyde on my lab coat or the one who stared at my chest the entire lecture." She said giving him a knowing wink and sharing a conspiratorial laugh with Charles. They both knew the perils the females faced who were trying to break into medicine as more than just nurses.  
  
"I would hope that I would have been neither Elizabeth," he said reaching over to hold her hand. Before Lizzy could reply a shell exploded twenty- yards to her right. She let out a small yelp and ducked her head. Releasing his hand she grabbed the dashboard. Charles stepped on the gas and tried to out run the barrage.  
  
"Hold on!" he shouted over the noise.  
  
"Charles, we have to get off of this road!" screamed Elizabeth with terror in her voice.  
  
The shelling lasting for two hours in Lizzy's mind, but it was actually only about three minutes. When the shelling stopped, Charles realized that he had been gripping the steering wheel so hard that his fingers had lost circulation. He exhaled loudly, not realizing that he had been holding his breath. Elizabeth looked over at him and exclaimed "Charles your arm is bleeding!" She immediately applied pressure to his wound.  
  
"I did not even realize it until you said something." He said feeling light- headed, his arm going cold. He was trying to pull the jeep off the road and it felt as though an elephant was sitting on the hood.  
  
"This is going to need stitches." Elizabeth said, digging in the field kit for the necessary equipment. "Charles, hold still! I need to tourniquet and suture this wound before you loose any more blood." her voice was calm and her movements quick and precise.  
  
"You should have been a surgeon," he said dreamily as he slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
Elizabeth finished her sutures and packed off Charles arm. She checked his pulse, it was slow but steady. She was able to wake him to a semi-conscious state and somehow was able to get him into the back of jeep. She did not want to just sit by the side of the road and wait for the shelling to start again, she knew that Charles would need better medical attention than she could provide and plasma if not blood as well. They were closer to the Battalion Aid than the 4077 so with a small prayer to whatever gods might be left to listen to frightened nurses in the middle of a war, she steeled her courage and drove like hell.  
  
Charles awoke some time later to the jostling motion of the jeep, he noticed that he was lying in the back seat and saw that Elizabeth was driving. He reached his hand up and touched her arm, she looked back at him and smiled. "I'm glad you're finally awake! We're almost to the Battalion aid, I hope you do not object to having a female driver!" She teased, shouting to him over the roar of the engine and the distant sound of shelling.  
  
"Indeed I am enjoying having a chauffer again." He shouted back with a laugh, feeling very weak and tired. He must have lost more blood than he realized.  
  
As there jeep pulled into the Battalion aid, a corpral ran up to them. "You must be from the 4077. We'll you're just in time for the party! They're pushing us back, we've lost the line and we're just about to bug out, we could use an extra set of hands here," he shouted over the increased shelling.  
  
"Doctor Winchester has been hurt, I want to send him back to the 4077 with the next batch of wounded but I'll be glad to stay and help you." Elizabeth said as she helped Charles out of the jeep.  
  
"Now just a minute, I'm not.." blustered Charles.  
  
"That ambulance is just about to leave. Come over to the tent when you're done," the corpral said as he ran off.  
  
"Elizabeth, I am not going to leave you here," said Charles looking pale and unsteady on his feet.  
  
"Well I'm afraid that you lost a little too much of that noble Winchester blood to be of much use in a bug out Charles," Lizzy laughed as she put his arm around her shoulders and helped him to the ambulance. Charles was unable to protest further as she sat him in the passenger seat and shut the door. She pulled something from her pocket and stuffed it into his hand, leaning into the ambulance she kissed him softly on the lips. "Thanks for the loan," she said with a wink. Before Charles could speak she was gone and the ambulance lurched forward. He looked at his hand and there was the handkerchief he had given her, she had embroidered his initials onto it. Charles clenched his fist around the soft fabric and held it close to his heart as hot tears of frustration blurred his vision but did not fall. He was angry with himself for not staying and even angrier with her for being right about making him leave.  
  
"Damn," he cursed softly to no one in particular. 


	2. Without Regret Part II

Authors Note: This work of fiction is intended to entertain the reader. I hope the hard chore 'M*A*S*H' and 'Pride & Prejudice' fans will forgive the liberties I have taken with the use of the characters. This is rated R, please do not read if you are under 18. Thank you.  
  
PART 2  
  
Chapter V  
  
"Charles, what the hell are you doing back here..and where is Lizzy?" Pierce questioned him as he worked his way through the injured soldiers on the ambulance.  
  
"I was wounded when we were caught by some shelling on the way to Battalion aid and Elizabeth insisted on staying to help with the bug out.."  
  
"Bug out!? When did they have a bug out?" question Colonel Potter "Klinger, get on the phone, find out what's going on and where Lizzy is!"  
  
"Who stitched up your arm Charles, Battalion aid must be getting some new hidden talent." B.J. said as he inspected the wound.  
  
"Elizabeth did that," Charles said distractedly, he could still not believe that she stayed behind without him.  
  
"I'll have to start letting her close for me, she does nice work," B.J. said helping Charles out of the ambulance. "We'd better get some plasma into you."  
  
--  
  
There are moments in life when hours seem like days. Charles, after leaving Elizabeth behind at the Battalion Aid felt each moment as if it was an eternity. His waking hours were filled with thoughts of Elizabeth and how he would never forgive himself if she were harmed. He would not let him self consider the possibility that she might have been killed because the thought of his Elizabeth dead would have driven him mad with grief. Charles was so consumed about Elizabeths safe return that he failed to realize that he was in love with her.  
  
Klinger was eventually able to confirm that there was a bug out but the line was lost before he could find out where they were moving to next. There was no news of Elizabeth.  
  
Charles wore a path between the swamp and Klingers office inquiring every half hour if there was anything new on Elizabeth's whereabouts. He thought about stealing a jeep and making his own search for her. Hawkeye threatened to sedate Charles if he didn't rest and take care of himself. B.J. realized that Charles was more than just concerned about a coworker or a friend, that he was in fact worried about the woman that he loved. B.J. knew that if it was Peg that was missing, he would be just as upset as Charles.  
  
Several days later the battered bus that carried the battalion aid ground staff finally rolled in the 4077. It was greeted with the cheers of the entire camp and a very grateful Charles. The weary staff was helped off the bus, and Charles saw a dirty and exhausted Elizabeth.  
  
He was oblivious to her disheveled appearance; she was alive, unharmed and more beautiful to him than he could find words to express. Their eyes met as she stepped down from the bus, she gave him a smile that lit up her whole face. He could not help but return it feeling as though a light had been turned on inside of him. He felt his steps quicken, he was about an arms length away from her when suddenly Elizabeth was being picked up and hugged and kissed by Hawkeye.  
  
"You scared us half to death! Never, never, never leave us again..or I'll have to spank you!" teased Hawkeye as he twirled with Elizabeth in his arms. Her laughter rang out in merry peals, and her lose hair flowed like a banner streaming in the sunlight. She raised her arms above her head, leaning into Hawkeyes spin and gave a joyous shout, "Hooray I'm home!" She kissed Hawkeye on the cheek and threw her arms around his neck as he set her down.  
  
"I have never been so glad to see all of you!" Elizabeth declared happily, hugging each person she saw in turn. She turned to Charles "How is your arm?" she asked warmly. He said nothing, she hugged him and whispered, "I missed you."  
  
The jealousy that Charles felt over seeing his beloved in another man's arms was almost overwhelming. It was all he could to do keep from either storming away or knocking Pierces block off.  
  
"Okay, lets break it up folks! Give Lizzy a chance to shower and rest before we start the welcome home party." Said Colonel Potter with a smile, claiming a hug and kiss for himself.  
  
As the crowd melted away, Charles watched Elizabeth walk with some of the nurses. Her easy manners had made her friends with most of the 4077 and everyone was relieved to have her home.  
  
"Come on B.J., lets go plan the welcome home party," said Pierce as he walked away.  
  
"Charles, are you alright," asked a concerned B.J. "Aren't you happy that Lizzy is back?"  
  
"A Winchester does not publicly display emotions the way a common oaf would," Charles said imperiously, glaring daggers at the retreating Hawkeye's back. He wanted to be the first one to hug and kiss Elizabeth. How dare that cretin Pierce behave so brashly with his Elizabeth.  
  
"You know Charles, sometimes you can admit to being just as human as the next man and people would not think less of you. You might want to think about at least letting the girl know that you missed her," B.J. said gently, putting his hand on Charles shoulder. Charles scowled and walked away. B.J. could almost see the black cloud hanging over his head.  
  
Chapter VI  
  
The party was in full swing, Father Mulcahy was playing the piano and Lizzy could her him saying "Jocularity, Jocularity". She had been well wished and welcomed home by almost everyone in the camp. She suddenly found herself the belle of the ball, she had been danced with by every male member of the camp, save one. Charles was conspicuously missing from the festivities. He did not trust himself to be present at so public a gathering until he had conquered his urge to strangle Pierce. Elizabeth was disappointed that Charles had not welcomed her home more enthusiastically, but hoped that he might yet make an appearance at the party.  
  
As the evening wore on, the free flowing liquor was showing its affects. Hawkeye was growing more forward with his advances on Lizzy and she was growing tired of moving his hands back to their proper place on her waist as they danced.  
  
Lizzy had enjoyed more than her usual number of drinks and was starting to feel light headed. Hawkeye walked her out into the brisk evening air, before she knew what was happening she found herself being passionately kissed and pawed by Hawkeye. It took her a few moments to free herself from his grasp and she stumbled away from him.  
  
"Hawkeye, I know you missed me but this is getting a little ridiculous," she said with a little laugh, trying to defuse the situation.  
  
"Awww..I thought you like me," he said playfully, giving her his best hurt little boy smile and puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Do not confuse my friendship towards you for something more," she said sharply, using the back of her hand to wipe his kiss off of her mouth.  
  
"Don't play hard to get Lizzy. Come on, lets go over to the supply tent," Hawkeye said charmingly.  
  
"No, I want to go back inside, I don't want to miss the rest of the party," she said sweetly with a smile. Hawkeye shrugged, offered his arm and escorted her back inside.  
  
Charles walked around the corner into the light, his face beaming with happiness. He had witnessed the entire thing and knew now that Pierce had no hold over Elizabeth's heart. Charles took a few moments to compose himself, he did not want to walk around with a silly grin on his face. When he eventually entered the party he saw Elizabeth sitting down with a serious look on her face speaking with B.J. She was so engrossed in her conversation that she did not notice Charles until he was standing at her elbow, he heard her saying "...even harder to suture in jeep with only a field kit B.J."  
  
Charles cleared his throat, Elizabeth saw him "Charles, I was beginning to think that you had forgotten about me," she said with a smile, reaching for his hand. "Won't you sit down and join us," she asked.  
  
"I'm going to go talk to the Colonel, sit down Charles and keep the lady company," B.J. said as he left.  
  
"I am glad to see that you have returned to us safely Elizabeth," Charles said smoothly as he sat down, betraying none of the emotion that he was feeling.  
  
Elizabeth beamed at him and was about to speak when she found herself being pulled to her feet and towards the dance floor by Hawkeye. "Come on Lizzy, lets dance..Charles won't mind, will you Charles," slurred Hawkeye eyeing Elizabeth in way that Charles did not like at all.  
  
"Actually Pierce, I was about to dance with Elizabeth," Charles said with a polite smile and cut in, he pulled Elizabeth to him and they danced away from the stunned Hawkeye.  
  
"Pierce, come have a drink," called Colonel Potter over the music. Hawkeye walked over, sat down next to B.J. and Margaret.  
  
"I can't believe that Charles cut in on my dance with Lizzy," exclaimed a disgruntled Hawkeye.  
  
"She doesn't appear to be suffering very much from here," observed Margaret. "In fact, she looks happier now than I've seen her all night."  
  
"Happy dancing with Charles," mocked Hawkeye. He couldn't believe his ears, "Are you serious, he's old enough to be her father," he exclaimed.  
  
"Oh relax Hawk, Charles is only thirty-four, he's hardly old. Besides, as far a couples go there's a few years between Peg and I. Who's to say what makes another person happy," B.J. said.  
  
"There's almost twelve years between me and Mrs. Potter," added the Colonel.  
  
"But why does Charles get the prettiest nurse in the camp," pouted Hawkeye.  
  
"Hey" Margaret exclaimed, smacked Hawkeye on the arm.  
  
"Ow! Except for you Hotlips," apologized Hawkeye, rubbing his arm and making kissing faces at Margaret.  
  
"Pierce, haven't you ever heard that opposites attract," asked Colonel Potter.  
  
Chapter VII  
  
Time passed quickly in the company of Elizabeth. Charles soon found himself welcoming in 1953 with a kiss from the woman he loved. Cries of "Happy New Year!" surrounded the couple but they only saw each other. Stolen moments of Elizabeth's kisses in the scrub room, behind the post-op curtains and the supply tent were all Charles had to keep him sane. He was no longer thinking about what would happen after the war. His only thoughts were of his Elizabeth and how she was able to turn his hell in Korea into heaven on earth.  
  
"I have a surprise for you Charles," Elizabeth said smiling mischievously.  
  
"Two weekend passes to Tokyo," guessed Charles.  
  
"It's a surprise, you can't guess silly," laughed Elizabeth. "Meet me in the supply tent at ten o'clock tonight."  
  
Charles opened the door to the supply room and saw a tablecloth had been spread over some palates. There was a Japanese tea set and a picnic diner spread out. Elizabeth was wearing a wine colored kimono, her hair was elaborately twisted up in ivory hair sticks. She gave him a welcoming smile, "I was not able to get two passes to Tokyo, so I though I would try to bring a little bit of Tokyo to you," Elizabeth said in a sultry low voice. She put her arms around him, pressed herself against him and kissed him slowly. Charles returned her embrace and made the welcome discovery that she was not wearing anything beneath her kimono. "Happy Valentines Day darling," she said breathlessly as their kiss broke. Charles cleared his throat, "I..didn't realize it was already Valentines Day," he said feeling foolish to have lost track of the days and that he did not have a gift for Elizabeth. She laughed and pulled him towards the picnic, "Come have some tea and tell me if I've gotten my research correct," she said playfully.  
  
Her research was excellent. The tea and the company was better than anything Charles had had in Tokyo, though he was decidedly distracted at the thoughts of what she was not wearing through the entire meal. After dinner was finished and they had packed up the dishes Charles stood to leave. "Our evening is not yet over, we have not had desert," she said mysteriously. Elizabeth quickly went behind some boxes and brought out blankets and pillow. Charles eyebrows went up in surprise, "What is this for," he asked.  
  
Elizabeth quickly spread the blanket and pillows over what had been the picnic area she said softly "It's desert, take your shoes off." Charles unlaced his boots as he was told. She gently grabbed his shoulders and layed him back against the pillows. He was surprisingly comfortable considering he was lying on top of wooden crates.  
  
She stood up in front of him and pulled the sticks out of her hair, it came spilling down her shoulders into soft curls that framed her face becomingly. She spoke in a slow, sultry voice.  
  
"Love not me for comely grace, For my pleasing eye or face, Nor for any outward part: No, nor for a constant heart! For these may fail or turn to ill:  
So thou and I shall sever. Keep therefore a true woman's eye, And love me still, but know not why! So hast thou the same reason still  
To doat upon me ever."  
  
As she finished her poetry reading, she slowly lay down next to him. "That was beautiful," he said touched that she had gone to so much trouble to prepare this evening for him. "..but not as beautiful as you are my love." He kissed her lips, his hand gently caressing the soft skin of her face. She retuned his kiss and hoped tonight would be the night that they were both finally able to let go of their constraints and give into their more primal urges.  
  
He continued his caresses up her check into her soft thick hair. She pressed herself closer to him, her arm sliding up his chest, unbuttoning his shirt she left a trail of kisses from his ear down the side of his neck, to the base of his throat. He undid the ties of her kimono and the soft fabric easily feel open exposing her exquisite naked body to him. She felt his hands leave trails of fire as he slid them up her thigh, over her hip, up her stomach to her full round breasts. He kissed around the base of her breast, licking and gently biting his way around both of them until he worked his way to her hard little nipples. He sucked and bit her nipples until she moaned and writhed against him in pleasure.  
  
The part of Charles brain that was still capable of rational thought told him that he should stop before things went to far, that she had never let him do anything this bold before and she might not approve of his actions. "Elizabeth," he whispered breathlessly between kisses, "..my beautiful sweet Elizabeth..I," all higher brain functions ceased when he felt Elizabeth slide her hand down the front his pants and wrap her soft warm fingers around the shaft of his erect penis and begin to gently stroke him.  
  
A guttural moan escaped his lips and she smiled at his reaction, pleased that she was able to let go of her inhibitions. "'You what', my darling," she asked innocently, increasing the movement of her hand up and down. Charles bit down on his lip, his eyes closed, his face contorted with pleasure. Elizabeth overwhelmed at the affect she knew she was having on Charles, found herself unfastening his trousers and sliding them down she impulsively kissed the swollen tip of his penis. She watched in fascination as his organ twitched and she could hear Charles gasp in surprise and pleasure. She ran her tongue from the base of his testicles up to the top of his penis and slid her mouth slowly, up and down the length of him. She was completely aroused by the noises she could hear Charles making, she looked up at him, her mouth still engorged with his organ. He looked down at her and the feeling of seeing her with her lips wrapped around him staring up at into his eyes was electric.  
  
"Oh god, Elizabeth..don't stop," he begged, not even realizing that he was speaking aloud. She used her hand to stabilize herself and moving both her hand and mouth together worked Charles almost to the breaking point. With a strength that he did not know he possessed, Charles pulled himself away from the delicious workings of Elizabeth's hand and mouth. He maneuvered her next to him on the blanket and retuned his attentions to her lips, trying to slow the pounding of his heart.  
  
"Charles, I love you," she whispered between kisses. He found himself on top of her and with an urge as old as man he slid himself inside her wet folds. Elizabeth gasped in wonderment and surprise, she was delighted to feel him inside of her and moved her hips against him and wrapped her legs around his. His mouth found her nipple and sucked hard until she moaned in ecstasy. She moved against him with increasing urgency, he felt as if a river flowed between their loins until he himself exploded inside of her. He shifted to lie on his side next to her, his head on her chest he tenderly kissed the tops of her breasts. He raised his head and looked into her shining eyes and smiling face, "Elizabeth, I love you too."  
  
"I hope you weren't too disappointed by my inexperience," she said shyly blushing.  
  
"Inexperienced," asked bewildered. He was not surprised that Elizabeth had been a virgin, but to use the word inexperienced to describe what had just happened between them left Charles flushed and tongue tied. "I..um..you have done excellent research my darling."  
  
"You are not disappointed then," she asked, her emotions overwhelming her and for some strange reason she felt as though she might cry. Charles kissed her and held her reassuring her that he was in no way disappointed in her love making skills. Charles felt himself a bit of cad for taking her virtue and almost proposed to rectify the situation.  
  
"Elizabeth," he began slowly, not wanting to hurt her feelings, "..why did you chose to.. to.."  
  
"To surrender the flower of my virtue," she said helpfully.  
  
"Yes," said Charles, relieved that she had said it for him.  
  
"Well my darling, after being in hiding in a bus in the middle of a war zone and feeling very mortal, one tends to think about all the things in life they have not yet experienced.." she paused to look at Charles, "I hope you do not think that I would have done this with just anyone Charles," she asked, worried that he was thinking ill of her.  
  
"No my darling, I consider myself very fortunate to be the one you chose to be with, I only worry that your future husband might not appreciate..uhm.." he stammered again.  
  
"That I would come to my wedding bed without my maidenhead," she said with a laugh. "Oh, Charles, I doubt I will ever marry, but if I were, I would hope that my husband would be understanding of my choices and perhaps even think better of me for my worldliness."  
  
Charles wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and held her tight, the thought of her married to another man was almost too much for him. Elizabeth gently caressed the top of his head and kissed the wrinkle in his forehead. "Charles, what ever is the matter," she asked, concerned for the worried look on his brow and his sudden silence.  
  
"Elizabeth, I don't want you to think less of me for being the one that has taken your virtue," he said with pain in his voice.  
  
"Charles, you didn't take anything. It was mine to give to you," she said her eyes wet with unshed tears. "I love you, without regret or hesitation Charles Emerson Winchester," she whispered kissed him, silencing any further conversation.  
  
Chapter VIII  
  
The following weeks were filled with wounded and long days in the OR. The lovers were not granted time alone for more than stolen kisses and longing looks. A lull came around the end of March and the 4077 found itself having a belated Saint Patrick's Day party. It was not until several days after this that it occurred to Elizabeth the hangovers do not usually last a week. She continued to feel out of sorts and over the next several weeks was able to further ignore the subtle signs her body was giving by telling herself that it was just the bad army food causing her nausea and the long days in post-op causing her fatigue. It was not until she fainted in the middle of Sunday services that she admitted to herself that she might have a problem. Elizabeth went to Colonel Potter and asked his advice on what do.  
  
"Oh my..Lizzy..are you certain," Colonel Potter asked in a concerned voice.  
  
"There would need to be a blood test to be positive, however, I am not feeling myself as of late and the symptoms are undeniable," she said sadly, with tears in her eyes. "Oh Colonel Potter, what am I do to?"  
  
"Let's send off the blood test before you make any decisions my dear," he said gently patting her hand and drying her tears.  
  
The four weeks it took for the blood tests to be processed were agonizing to Lizzy. Her greatest fear was that Charles would find out her dilemma and he would marry her, not because he loved her and wanted no other, but that he felt obligated to do the right thing.  
  
"Well Lizzy, the tests are back," said Colonel Potter, his face grave. "I'm afraid the army is going to have to discharge you. You're pregnant."  
  
"How long until I am sent home," she said flatly, numb from the shock.  
  
"Seventy-two hours until the next chopper leaves for Tokyo. Are you going to tell Charles," he asked concerned. As her Commanding Officer and a father her felt responsible for Lizzy's well being.  
  
"I..how..how did you know it was Charles," her voice broke and she brought her hands to her face and cried broken-heartedly. Colonel Potter got up from behind his desk and walked over to Lizzy, he pulled up the chair next to her and gave her a hug. He patted her back and said gently, "There, there Lizzy, don't cry. I'm sure Charles will do the right thing by you."  
  
"I can't tell him, he would marry me and it would ruin his life. I have no money, no family, nothing of worth to Boston society. I couldn't do that to him," she said between sobs, her face buried in the Colonels shoulder.  
  
"Horse-apples! Do you love him," asked the Colonel.  
  
"Oh yes, I would have never.." she blushed and stammered, "never..if..I didn't love Charles," she said sniffling, whipping her tears with the back of her hand.  
  
"Tell the man Lizzy. He deserves the chance to make his own decisions about his life, who he loves and what he wants to do about it," he said with assuredness.  
  
"I have to think about it Colonel. Please don't tell anyone why I'm leaving. Can we just say that I'm having a family emergency and that's why I'm going home," pleaded Lizzy.  
  
The next seventy-two hours were filled with hugs, kisses, tears and promises to write as soon as she was home. Charles was distraught when Elizabeth told him that she was leaving. He fought the urge to ask him to marry him, he knew he loved Elizabeth deeply but was unsure how he would feel about her once they were back in normal society. As Colonel Potter was escorting her to the landing pad, Charles gave her a small package. He kissed her hand and told her that she would be greatly missed. Lizzy's lip quivered at the though of never seeing Charles again, but she refused to let herself cry in front of him. "Thank you," she said softly, she did not trust herself to say more. Charles bowed and walked away. Elizabeth watched him leave and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. Colonel Potter waked Lizzy the rest of the way in silence. When they reached the top of the hill he said, "I want you to call my wife Mildred if you have any questions or need anything Lizzy. I want to hear from you as well."  
  
"Thank you Sherman, I appreciate everything you've done for me," she said throwing her arms around the old mans neck and hugging him. "Goodbye," she shouted over the whirling blades, her tears flowing fast and free. She buckled herself into the seat and bravely waved.  
  
Colonel Potter waved back to her and felt his heart heavy with her burden. He stood on the hill until her chopper was safely out of sight. He walked slowly back to the camp and found his way to the swamp. He suspected from the sad but calm look on Charles face, and the coolness of his good-bye to her that Lizzy had not told him the truth about why she was leaving. He knew that he could not betray Lizzy's secret, but there was more than one way to skin a cat. He poured himself a drink and sat down.  
  
"So B.J., did you give Lizzy Peg's telephone number and tell her call her when she got home," asked Colonel Potter  
  
"I did and I know that Hawk asked her to phone his dad as well. I think everyone in the camp wanted to have Lizzy tell their families that they're okay," he paused and sighed with wistfulness. "I know that Peg will like her and I hope they'll become friends too. I'd like to see Lizzy again when I get home at more than just a reunion dinner," he said with a smile. Colonel Potter was carefully calculating what he would say to Charles when Klinger walked into the tent. "Colonel Potter, is Lizzy's chopper gone," he asked.  
  
"Yes Klinger, why what's the problem," Colonel Potter asked slightly confused by the company clerks appearance.  
  
"Lizzy said to deliver this letter to Major Winchester after she had left. Here you go Major," said Klinger politely handing the sealed envelope to Charles.  
  
Klinger had not read her letter, but as the company clerk he was the one who sent out and received back the results of Lizzy's blood test. He had been prepared from the beginning to tell Charles about Lizzy's real family emergency, if no one else would. He hoped this letter would relieve him of the duty.  
  
Charles opened the letter and read:  
  
May 5th, 1953  
  
My Beloved Charles,  
  
By the time you are holding this letter in your hands I will be gone. I want you to know how very much I love you and how deeply it hurts me to leave so suddenly. I am sorry that I was not truthful with you about my reason for leaving. I was afraid that if I told you the truth that you would make a rash decision that would cause you to have regret in the future. I want you to consider your plans for your future life and what you want that life to be like, and who will be the person that you want to share this life with. If after your ponderings you feel that I would not be the right person then what I have to say to you should not alter your decision. I trust you to be honest with yourself about this Charles. When you are ready to know the real reason that I have left, please consult Colonel Potter and show him my letter. I give him my full permission to disclose my medical files to you.  
  
Always,  
  
Elizabeth  
  
Charles was confused.  
  
He handed his letter to Colonel Potter and left the swamp, he began walking and his thoughts consumed him. He did love Elizabeth, and if she was sick or dying he would want to care for him and see that she received the best medical care possible. But would he marry her? Marriage had been something that he knew he would do one day but never went further than that in his mind. He assumed when he returned to the states that his parents would have a list of potential candidates for him to think about at the future Mrs. Charles Emerson Winchester the Third. The thought of picking a wife so callously left him feeling a little ill. Elizabeth was ideal to be his wife in all things, except for her lack of family or fortune. Charles raged against himself. Fortune be damned, didn't he have enough money for them to live comfortably? Family, he knew she had good breeding and was a lady in every sense of the word, what did family matter? A life without Elizabeth left him feeling cold and empty, the thought of her as his wife and always by his side was like stepping into the arms of love. He was a fool to think that he would be happy with any other woman. He did love her and want her in his life always. He wanted Elizabeth to be his wife, if she would have him. He walked to Colonel Potters office.  
  
"I have made my decision, Colonel. Please let me see Elizabeth's file," Charles said with a glow on his face.  
  
"Does this mean I can wish you congratulations on your engagement to Lizzy," asked the Colonel.  
  
"She would make me the happiest of men if she would consent to be my wife," he said with a grin.  
  
Colonel Potter handed him Lizzy's file. He watched Charles expression change from confusion to joy. Charles looked up at the Colonel with tears in his eyes.  
  
"Congratulations Charles, you're going to be a father," said a very happy Colonel Potter handing Charles a cigar.  
  
Charles did not want to tarnish Lizzy's reputation and asked the Colonel to keep their news a secret. The Colonel did not breath a word of it to anyone. Charles wanted to propose to Elizabeth and hear her accept him before he told his family of his plans.  
  
The news of Elizabeth's death several days later took him at such a surprise that he laughed when Colonel Potter told him that the transport carrying Elizabeth from Tokyo had been shot down over the Sea of Japan. "That's impossible," Charles said with a smile of disbelief on his lips, "Colonel, tell me that's impossible. Tell me it's not true," he demanded, the reality of the Colonels words sinking in. "She can't be..dead..I didn't even get to tell her that I wanted her to be my wife..that I knew..about.." Charles sank into a chair, numb with grief.  
  
"I'm sorry Charles, I wish it was some mistake but her name was on the flight manifest," Colonel Potter said sadly, pouring him a drink. Charles swallowed the liquid and felt it burn as went down, but it did nothing to remove the lump in his throat.  
  
Charles still numb, stood and walked slowly out of Colonel Potters office, Klinger met him in the door way and expressed his condolences, there were tears in the other mans eyes and Charles felt his own grief reflected back at him. "Thank you Max," he said his voice sounding eerily calm and distant to his own ears.  
  
Charles continued to walk, his face a mask, devoid of any emotion, his eyes hollow and blank. He wasn't sure if his heart was still beating because he could feel nothing anymore. He reached the swamp and sat down on his cot, the emptiness threatening to overwhelm him. Already he felt his grief pulling him into the black abyss. B.J. noticed his blank stare and the vacant look in Charles eyes, but did not say anything. After about fifteen minutes of Charles staring blankly into nothing and not moving a muscle, B.J. asked, "Anything wrong Charles,"  
  
"Elizabeth is dead," he said flatly, still numb from the pain, still unable to accept his own words. B.J. and Hawkeye both made startled noises, both of them questioned him at the same time.  
  
"What? Are you sure," questioned Hawkeye.  
  
"When did this happen," asked B.J.  
  
"Colonel Potter just informed me that the transport she was on was..shot down..over the Sea of Japan.." his voice wavered, "..and there were no survivors," he concluded softly.  
  
"Charles, how can you just sit there and calmly tell us the Lizzy is dead, haven't you any feelings at," Hawkeye yelled, throwing down the newspaper he was reading and storming over to where Charles was sitting. With a guttural scream of barely suppressed rage, Charles was on his feet grabbing Hawkeye by the front of his shirt, shoving the taller man backwards with all of his might, he slammed Hawkeye into the still, knocking pieces of it to the floor. "You know NOTHING of my pain," Charles shouted into Hawkeye's surprised faced. "I loved Elizabeth..I wanted to marry her..she's dead now because of me," his voice shook with rage. "..because I didn't guard my conduct better..she had to leave because of me.." his voice broke, and he bowed his head against Hawkeye's chest and hot tears spilled down his checks. Gasping for air he continued, "she would have never been on that damned transport..she would still be here, alive if..if it wasn't for me. Don't you understand? It's all my fault that she's dead..I killed her because I couldn't control myself." he let go of Hawkeye and backed away slowly. "You know nothing of my pain," he said again hoarsely, his hands shaking. Charles turned and stormed out of the tent. By the time he reached the Officers Club, there were no more tears. Charles sat at the bar, "Scotch," he said flatly, it wasn't a question. A shot was poured in front of him, "leave the bottle," he said, numbing his guilt and pain the only way he knew how. 


	3. Without Regret Part III

Authors Note: This work of fiction is intended to entertain the reader. I hope the hard chore 'M*A*S*H' and 'Pride & Prejudice' fans will forgive the liberties I have taken with the use of the characters. This is rated R, please do not read if you are under 18. Thank you.  
  
PART 3  
  
Chapter IX  
  
"I'm sorry Miss but your name was on the flight manifest, and that flight was shot down and so the army thinks you're dead," said a very apologetic clerk.  
  
"I was in the washroom when the flight left, my name may have been on the manifest but I was not on the flight. So how do I convince them that I am still alive? I would really like to go home now," said a very tired and frustrated Lizzy. She had been trying to get on a flight home for three days and had no idea that her death had been reported to the 4077 or that at this very same moment Charles had swan dived into a bottle of scotch and would not come up for air for over a week.  
  
"I'll see if I can find the forms for you to fill out so that we can verify that you are alive," the clerk spoke with such calm that Lizzy suspected this sort of thing happened to him every day. "I would suggest that you call your next of kin though, they are usually the first to be notified in the event of your death."  
  
--  
  
"Hello, Jane!" Lizzy shouted into the telephone, "Its Lizzy, Jane. I'm fine, I'm coming home as soon as they'll verify that I'm still alive..No darling, it's not true, I couldn't call you if I was dead..I'm sorry it's 2 o'clock at night Jane..No, you are not dreaming, turn your light on Jane..I love you to..Goodbye Jane, I'll see you soon!"  
  
Except for her pocketbook and shoulder bag with a few personal items, all of Lizzy's things had been destroyed when the flight she should have been on was shot down. She no longer had the contact information for her friends from the 4077. It was with a bit of regret that she considered her situation. She had every intention of delivering to the folks at home that their loved one's were in good health. She knew if she called Peg Honeycutt or Mildred Potter that she would most likely confide in them and while she was certain that neither woman would be unkind to her she was uncertain as to how well they would react to her new situation in life. It was with a heavy heart that she decided it would be for the best if she didn't contact anyone, it made her sad to think that her friends would think that she had snubbed them. But a personal slight was better, in Lizzy's mind, that to have them think ill of her and her child.  
  
Lizzy waited for the army to confirm that she was alive so she could go home. She used the time to ponder about how close she had come to death and how she could make the best use of the new life she had been given. She was thankful for her unborn child causing her to be ill enough to not get on the plane, "I think we're looking out for each other already kiddo," she said gently caressing the slight puff that was starting to show in her lower abdomen.  
  
She was going home to live with Jane, and was surprised at how easy it would be for her to lie to the small town residents about a fictional husband who died in the war so that her child would not be an outcast. She considered that she would be able to find work as a nurse and therefore provide a stable income for her new family, but would that be the best life for her child?  
  
A Winchester heir, regardless of its gender would be well cared for indeed. Perhaps she would contact Charles and ask that while she did not intend for him to marry her, that he should provide for his childs future. She smiled and her whole body relaxed at the thought of Charles being able to keep his life and happiness without inconvenience to either of them, and yet their child would be able to attend college and have a secure financial future. She would not ask for money for herself, only that Charles provide for college and help their child in whatever profession he or she would choose.  
  
Lizzy was overwhelmed with her emotions and soon found tears streaming down her face, she dug in her pocket book to find a handkerchief when her hand brushed against the small package that Charles had given her. Sniffling she pulled it out and opened it. It was his copy of 'Rome & Juliet' with a note inside.  
  
She opened the note and read:  
  
My Beloved Elizabeth,  
  
With the uncertainty of the Army mail system I do not know if any correspondences we would share would reach their destinations. With this in mind, I would request that you contact me at my parents' house in Boston. I do wish to see you once I return home. I am uncertain what that future will bring, but I do know that a future without you will be bleak indeed. Please do me the honor of renewing our friendship, I look forward to seeing you again under more peaceful circumstances. Please give my best to your family, I trust their health will improve upon your arrival.  
  
Charles  
  
Elizabeth's tears turned into a full out crying jag at reading Charles note. She had not until that moment allowed herself to think about how much she missed Charles and how a future as his wife would be a happy thought indeed.  
  
--  
  
Lizzy returned to civilian life and with the help of her sister Jane they bought a small house together on the outskirts of town. The two sisters enjoyed each others company and the planning of a new member to their family. Jane was worried about how distracted and broken-hearted Lizzy looked when she thought Jane was not looking. She hoped that her sister was doing the right thing by not contacting Charles, but said nothing to upset her sister in her delicate condition.  
  
After Lizzy's memorial service at the 4077, life in camp returned to normal, with the noted exception of Charles. He blamed himself for Elizabeth's death and had not one moments peace since she left. Everything reminded him of her, his books, his music, the things that he sought refuge in from the war before he met Elizabeth, now only increased his sorrow. One day after mail call B.J. received a package from home that had new pictures of his wife and daughter. No one was aware of the fact that Charles grieved for the child he never knew, or that he was destitute over the fact that he did not even have Elizabeth's picture. After B.J.s package came, Charles once again found his comfort in the bottle and in his inebriated state he lamented his loss of her photograph to Hawkeye.  
  
Hawkeye made good use of the information while Charles was sleeping off his latest drunk. When Charles awoke he found an envelope with the snapshots that everyone in camp had taken of Elizabeth over the course of her tour of duty. There was even the picture from her official army file, compliments of Klinger. Charles was touched by their gesture and made every effort to pull himself together to get through the end of the war.  
  
--  
  
July 27th, 1953  
  
THE UNITED STATES, NORTH KOREA AND CHINA SIGN AN ARMSTICE  
  
Elizabeth dropped her morning paper after reading the headline. Tears of joy were streaming down her face, "Jane, did you see this! The war is over, Charles will be coming home soon," she cried with relief and happiness.  
  
Elizabeth wrote to Charles the letter she had been working on mentally since she found out she was carrying his child. It was more difficult to put her coherent thoughts down on paper than she thought it would be and she spent several weeks working on it. When the letter was finally mailed to Boston, she began to patiently wait for a reply. After several more weeks and no reply came, Elizabeth began to wonder if Charles was ever going to write to her. She resolved to put him out of her mind completely, if he chose not to contact her again she would be just find with out him she told herself through her tears of disappointed sadness. "We will be just fine," she sniffled aloud, caressing her ever-increasing abdomen, "..just fine indeed."  
  
Chapter X  
  
Elizabeth's letter was received by the housekeeper and placed in a pile with the rest of Charles correspondences awaiting his return. Charles would not return to Boston for several months. After the war ended and the 4077 was torn down, Charles hid himself in Tokyo and tried to enjoy a much- needed vacation. Charles golfed and thought about Elizabeth, he wondered if she enjoyed the sport and how lovely she would have looked in the short golf skirts. He took in the opera and leaned over to the empty seat next to him to ask Elizabeth if she was enjoying herself. He was slowly driving himself mad, and one night after chasing down a woman at the theater with the same color hair as Elizabeth, he realized that nothing would ever bring her back to him. Charles was a man without hope, he hit the bottle hard and this time, it hit him back.  
  
It was a very altered Charles returned sometime later to his parents and sister. He had lost about 30 pounds and had about him the rough haggard appearance of someone who has slept little and drank hard. His family was shocked and concerned, his father took him aside and questioned him about what was wrong. Charles told his father about Elizabeth and how he fell in love with her and wanted to marry her, and how she was now dead. The elder Winchester was sympathetic to his sons loss, but knew the importance of Charles pulling himself together.  
  
Over the next few weeks with the help of his family Charles slowly regained his composure He knew that his life would never be the same without Elizabeth, but tried to think how she would not want him to end up a bitter lonely old drunk. He instead tried to focus on the brief joy that he had shared with her, and how she made him want to be a better man. He did not leap out of bed each day, but he no longer cursed the dawn for ending his dreams of Elizabeth. As the days passed into weeks, Charles slowly began to heal and eventually worked his way through his correspondences. Elizabeth's letter was at the bottom of his very large pile and Charles did not even notice the postmark when he opened it and began to read.  
  
My Darling Charles,  
  
How shocked you must be to find that the family emergency that called me home was not due to an illness of any sister, but to my own delicate condition. I am sorry that I was not able to tell you in person my love. I was worried that you would feel a sense of obligation to marry me, and I did not want you to marry me for your sense of duty or pity. I would rather live a life of spinsterhood and have my child alone that to trap either of us in a loveless marriage.  
  
This being known, I would also like to share with you how deeply I did and still do love you. That if we did not have an impending stranger between us that I would want to renew my friendship with you and hope that you would love me as much in peace as you did in war. I have no money, no family name, nothing I can give you except my heart. If you find that would be enough to fill your life, then I would be pleased to share that life with you.  
  
If however, you feel that my heart is not enough and a life with me would not be the path you would choose then I would ask nothing more of you, except this. You know full well the child that I carry is yours, please do not be unkind when you think about him or her in the future. I do not ask for anything for myself Charles, but I do beg you to put aside some small funds so that our child would be able to attend the college of his or her choice and allow them to fulfill their potential. I leave this matter in your capable hands, and trust in you to follow your heart in all things.  
  
I will contact you no further. I wish you good health and long life, and I thank you for the time that we shared. I will treasure our love and our child always.  
  
Elizabeth  
  
Charles dropped the letter, it fluttered to the desk next to the envelope. He sat their stunned, unable to think or breath. He was a fool, his wounds had not healed. He was bitterly empty without Elizabeth and the ache of her writing this to him before she died was beyond his comprehension. He wanted to scream, to tear out his hair and pound his head on the desk that she could so reach out from beyond the grave and touch his heart so deeply.  
  
He looked down at his desk where the letter had fallen, her elegant handwriting looked so dignified to him. His eye caught the envelope, his brain catching up, telling that was not an army postmark, that was not an army address.  
  
E. Bennet 425 Watercress Drive Springfield MA  
  
That was an address here in Massachusetts, didn't she have a sister living in Springfield? He saw the postmark date his jaw dropped.  
  
August 1953.  
  
She was alive, and living in Springfield! Charles stuck the letter in his pocket and rang for the car. Charles knew that he did not have a moment to spare, it was Thanksgiving and with a quick calculation of the date he knew that Elizabeth was about to have his baby. He had to find her, he had to tell her that he loved her still and ask her to marry him. With a renewed hope in his heart and the feeling that he was once again master of his own destiny, Charles ran from his office. He found his father and explained that he had received a letter from Elizabeth and was going to drive to find her. His father asked why he did not just call and speak with her over the telephone, but Charles was insistent, he needed to see her with his own eyes. He told his father the entire truth about Elizabeth, that not only did Charles want to marry her but that she was also carrying his child and very near her due date. He asked his father to make his apologies to his mother and the rest of the family that he would not be there for the holiday meal. His father wished him godsped and told him to call as soon as he was safe. He said that he would not tell the rest of the family until Charles was certain of what he was going to do, "Remember son, you haven't seen this woman in several months, you may have a lot to talk about before you jump into marriage," the elder Winchester cautioned.  
  
"Father, I have lived a life without Elizabeth and there was no joy for me in the world," said Charles as he put on his topcoat and hat. "I am not jumping into marriage, I would rather say that I have waited far too long for it." It was a long hard drive from Boston to Springfield. For the first time in months Charles felt himself coming back to life, his heart filled with hope. He did not arrive at the Bennet house until after dark. He could see there were several cars parked in the driveway and all of the lights were on in the small house. He steeled his courage as he knocked on the door. He felt his heart pounding, and he was uncertain of what he was going to do when he saw Elizabeth again. The door opened and a lovely young woman who resembled Elizabeth answered, "Hello, may I help you," she asked.  
  
"Yes, I am doctor.." started Charles.  
  
"Oh please come in! My sister is in the bedroom," she interrupted him, pulling him in side and ushering him through the crowded house full of nervous looking guests and open a door to bedroom. He watched her walk inside the room and heard her say, "Lizzy, the doctor is here."  
  
"Thank you Jane," he heard Elizabeth say in a breathless voice.  
  
As Jane walked out of the room, she took Charles topcoat and hat. Charles stepped in and saw Elizabeth lying on the bed with a sheet pulled up over her very swollen belly. She was sweating and panting, obviously in the throws of hard labor.  
  
"Charles," Elizabeth exclaimed in surprise, panting, "what on earth..are you..doing here?"  
  
"I came as soon I received your letter. I would have been here sooner but I thought you were dead," he explained weakly.  
  
"Why..did you think..I was..dead," Elizabeth asked breathing harder and wondering why he was asking her such foolish questions when she felt as though she was being ripped in half.  
  
"I was told that your transport was shot down," he explained.  
  
Elizabeth made no reply, her face scrunched up in agony, her hands clenched the bedding round her. Charles acting quickly removed the sheet to see the baby's head was crowning. "Push darling," he said urgently, "I can see the head."  
  
A few moments later the anxious relatives were relieved to hear the sound of a baby cry. Jane rushed into be by Lizzy's side and saw Charles gently wrapping his daughter in a towel. He handed the baby to Jane and turned back to Elizabeth who was still breathing hard.  
  
"What's wrong with my sister," question Jane in a worried voice.  
  
Charles examined Elizabeth's belly and said with a smile "She's still in labor, she's having another baby."  
  
"It's a girl," exclaimed Jane rushing from the room with the baby in her arms. "Lizzy is going to have another baby."  
  
"Twins," the family seemed to shout in unison, pandemonium broke out as everyone gathered to see the new baby. Jane handed the squirming bundle to her aunt and returned to Lizzy's room to help with the second child.  
  
"CHARLES," Elizabeth screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
"No darling, you had a little girl, you must think of a different name," said Jane sweetly as she wiped Lizzy's brow.  
  
"I believe she was speaking to me," Charles said politely "It's almost over darling, breath," he said encouragingly.  
  
"You? You are Lizzy's Charles," questioned Jane.  
  
"Jane..now is not..the time..for introductions," panted Elizabeth.  
  
"I can see the head, push Elizabeth! Push," Charles said excitedly.  
  
Elizabeth heard her baby cry and collapsed against the bed, the room swam before her eyes and she could hear Charles telling her that she had a son. She smiled weakly and said in a voice no louder than a whisper, "I am glad that you were here to greet Charles Emerson Winchester the Fourth."  
  
--  
  
Charles gazed down in wonderment at the two sleeping infants. He lightly brushed his fingertips over the tops of their heads and felt tears of joy wet his cheeks. He turned to Elizabeth and asked, "What do you want to name our daughter?"  
  
"I was thinking of Cordelia," she said with a bright smile.  
  
"Cordelia Elizabeth Winchester," Charles said returning her smile, "I like the way that sounds."  
  
Elizabeth laughed and said, "Technically both of their last names should be the same as mine."  
  
Charles knelt by the side of the bed and took Elizabeth's hand, "I would like all of our last names to be the same," he said kissing her hand. "I have spent the last several months thinking you were dead, and my life was a dark place without you," he said looking deeply into her eyes. "I should have asked you this before you left the 4077.." Charles paused to get down on knee, still holding her hand he said, "Elizabeth, Will you marry me?"  
  
Elizabeth was crying to hard to make a reply, she simply nodded. Charles kissed her and Jane, who had accidentally overheard the entire conversation, shared with the rest of the house, "Charles just asked Lizzy to marry him and she said yes!"  
  
--  
  
Charles family welcomed Elizabeth and her children warmly. His parents were delighted to have grandchildren and his sister was thrilled to be an aunt. Their wedding was a small ceremony presided over by Father Mulcahy. Jane and Honoria were Elizabeth's bride's maids, B.J. and Hawkeye were Charles grooms men and Colonel Potter gave the bride away.  
  
The Winchesters of Boston sent out an annual Christmas card and at regular intervals a new name and face was added to the photograph. By 1963 their family was complete with Charles & Elizabeth the proud parents of Cordelia, Charles, Richard, Victoria, Edward, Martin, and Ophelia.  
  
Life in the Winchester house was filled with noise, children and all the turbulence a large family creates. It was everything that Charles never knew he always wanted. Charles became the head of thoracic surgery at Boston General, and managed to never put his job before his family. Elizabeth was a superb wife and mother; she did eventually finish medical school and to no one's surprise, became a teacher at Harvard.  
  
Their children..well, that's another story.  
  
The End. 


End file.
